I’ll believe it when I see it.

Cap Horn

Absentee Boyfriend is back on the radar with a long held promise of a trip to the snow. It’s supposed to be tomorrow, Saturday, apparently the tickets are booked. And just in case, I’ve re-arranged the same clothes in my ski bag that have been sitting in it for two years. They smell fine.

As soon as he told me, I vowed to go on one of those fasting diets. And to do some core strength exercise every day. Vows, vows, vows are for nuns.

He said bring a swimsuit in case the weather’s bad. Not enough to slip and slide all over the slopes but to bear milky white limbs in a spa too. My friends are more excited than I am, so I garner some of their enthusiasm and try to visualise the fun. Even though I’ve been on ski trips with ABF a few times before, we’ve never actually skied together. He of the heli-skiing, off piste, pure bravura style, me of the ‘want to keep life and limb together’ and get down that hill in one piece style.

In fairness, I met him on my first ski trip when he was on crutches, so he had time to give me a bit of guidance in getting on and off chair lifts, me, like an ungainly frog, legs and arms akimbo and falling at his feet, ho ho. I only took up skiing 5 years ago so I could bring the cost centres on fun family holidays. The R word happened quite soon after the first holiday, plus they were still too adolescent to see the benefit of an activity trip with mother and soon found more interesting teenage girls to hang with instead.

Thinking it might be something I could mix with business and research, I obviously invested in all the gear so I’d be ready to go at a moment’s notice on clients PJ’s. That whole R thing scuppered the PJ’s as well. Anyway, it will be good to escape Dublinlandlady.com for a few days, it’s not even for a week, but I think home is in fairly good hands; until I just mentioned it to Lodger #1.

‘What? A free house? You do know there’s a Leinster match tomorrow, so you won’t mind half the team back here?’

‘I’m locking my bedroom door.’ I say

‘Ah, I’m a bit past all that,’ he smiles wryly.

While it's still pelting down outside after three days, getting out of the country to anywhere right now would be a thrill. Suddenly the thought of four party residents in the house colours my enthusiasm just a tiny bit. While I’m partaking of après ski it’s going to be après match in the burbs.

Pot Boilers

It had to happen sooner or later. I've navigated the last six winters without boiler failure, or boiler service. As a woman, the service or maintenance of something that hasn't broken down, ie. a car or life-giving heating appliance is an option rather than an annual event. There are must-haves at 250 euro way up the list, well, there were.

In the six years since new boiler was installed to cater to the extension that is my workplace and cause of debt it has been exemplary, the only crib being the exorbitant cost of gas in this country. But as soon as cold Latvian lodger moves in, it goes on the blink. I've been getting up at 6.30 last two days to kick start it. I'd kick it if it wasn't so high. An entire morning was spent trying to find a service engineer who would touch it, 'oh that one, no, you'll have to get on to someone in Kerry,' I heard three times. As for Bord Gais, they must be the only call centre where they give their surname as well when they greet you after the twenty minutes of Greensleeves and ads for their efficiency. Clearly, shopping around is my thing, so on to the afternoon calls and back to Kerry.

I'm sure lodger no. 2 thinks it's a conspiracy to freeze him out, well that was a thought. But it's not working, he's being very understanding and each time I'm about to have 'the talk' who arrives only Absentee BF. Always welcomed but now he's added two days to the awkward moment. Men and their timing, if Carlsberg made them, I'd like mine a microwave, put him on at a 1000 watts, heat him up for 2 minutes and savour a warm dish watching the Oscars with a glass of chianti.... something like that.

I'll be waiting in for a three hour window for Kerry serviceman to call tomorrow. Well, truth be told, I'll be re-writing each word of my novel as usual. ABF is on a plane somewhere and lodger no. 2 is already vacuuming his room, being super-tenant. I'm particularly worried that the house won't be all warmed up for lodger no. 1's return from the UK between his ski trip to St Manton. That's St Anton in Austria where there's 10 men to every woman in the apres ski bar. See, timing, it's ski heaven for women.

My own timing was pretty bad this morning, telling CC# 2 he could have his old room back as it was affecting his studies being stuck in the linen cupboard and sharing a bathroom with his mum. I could see an immediate change in his lacklustre humour, with the hope of having somewhere to study for his finals and a bathroom to trash again. Now I have to stick to that plan and abandon the rental of the master en-suite. But desperado that I am, I've my eye on the linen cupboard which is a perfectly nice single room, I could possibly put a student into. The kind you make packed lunches and dinner for. Have I become a complete masochist or slave to the bank? 

As I sit and watch the Oscars, Lodger No. 2 comes into tell me he's had a look at two other places. Be still my beating heart, he's taken it on board himself. Bless, and worse, says, he didn't like them, 'because you've spoiled me.'