Absent Fathers

CC#2 wants a quiet celebration of his 21 years. Just his parents, his brother and the lovely Orlanda. My ex-husband - pause, while I think of a funny name… I can’t - and I haven’t lived in the same country for over fifteen years, and we've navigated these milestones very well so far. It works, in that I bring the boys up and he visits for special occasions. You never know how these things are going to turn out; leaps of faith were frequent in my past. Like everything else over the last few years, there is a lot of pressure on us. When it comes to parental issues, all I can say is the children come first.

Clarice was confirmation sponsor for CC#2 and I wondered if she'd like to join us. The birthday boy was delighted with that idea and I’m very glad she came. My sons have grown up in the company of my girlfriends, many of whom have been like honorary aunts, as I've no sisters. And I've much appreciated when these ladies have stepped up in the early years, to collect them from school or watch them for an hour. Now the boys display a great fondness for them, especially Cruella and Clarice. As these women are now more likely to give them career advice or simply indulge them.

Not having seen ex in nearly a year, I arrive with a studio portrait photo of the boys and our dog, which he’s delighted to receive and brings out the baby photographs from his wallet, I don't even have those. They’ve all had a few pints, and are on the mellow side. Next thing, the dad recalls the night that CC#2 was born, or rather the whole day hour by hour, including the rugby score. It's always funny to watch the faces of big boys when you talk about their babyhood, or rather, their jaws hang open, especially when their girlfriend is present. It's no harm to be the centre of attention for one evening a year. So, I for one will continue to be a pain in the neck about birthdays.

We make our way to Chez Max, our favourite French restaurant, where you’re guaranteed snails dripping in garlic sauce and a sense of being out of Dublin for a few hours, albeit with rain pounding overhead; I hope it will be a night CC#2 will remember, for all the right reasons.