Getting to the Bar

It's all ahead of us .....

The dress code is black, or even grey, knee length. No red shoes or fishnets if you please.

I have eleven black dresses, short sleeve, long, plunge, straight, floaty, then there's the suits, Dolce & Gabbana with leopard print lining, a lucky find in a sale in  my actual size, pin stripe and plain, a fifteen year old John Rocha, well cut and still wearable. I’ve even got a Paulie Costelloe ‘dressage’ look, even though he says Irish women dress hideously. There's only one problem with them, the zip won't go up on anything, repeat, anything.

And that's just the dining code. This is the first thing I learned on day one at school this week. I think the lecturer introduced the dining nights to get us all excited. We're sitting in the vaults of the Honorable Society of King's Inns, below the great hall where, during registration, we were offered cups of coffee and biscuits, welcomed and praised, given piles of manuals so we didn't need to take notes. The room wouldn’t be out of place in The Tudors, in fact King’s Inns dates back to Henry VIII.

Outside, the seniors are languishing in a beautiful garden taking shade from the Indian summer. There's even plenty of parking and you don't want to turn up here in a hoodie and jeans, the staff dress in smart suits and pearls and the women have had their hair done.

I've acquired a very bad habit and it's only night two, we start at 5.45 and at break time I succumb to a double espresso, I'm a woman who doesn't drink coffee after 2pm. It brings on a cracker of a headache by 8 so now I'm carrying panadol in my handbag. The hours in between I'm held in thrall, I can feel the love of learning and awe of law in these walls. The class is small, about fifty, we smile encouragingly at each other, young women, burly men, white haired and glossy maned, bald, Asian and African all with hope of knowledge, advancement and escape, who knows. I’m not even sure why I'm here. The best part is walking out into the night with new stuff in my head, into the cool air and shadows in the arches, street light falling on the cobbles, big black gates, silhouette of oak trees, the north side.