My ideas come easier if I watch football or
something equally bizarre, it's not so much the skill and pace, it's the
commentary; sports commentary, especially on radio is a sublime skill. I
absolutely loathe golf, but I could listen to the commentators on the Ryder Cup
when it was in the K Club as if they were performing a cantata. I just saw the equaliser in the Barcelona v
Paris St Germain match, how very exciting, maybe that's inspiring me to keep
this post somewhat international and about teamwork.
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| Cost Centre # 2 Flying by the Cliffs of Moher with Baron Von Richter Scale |
I'm part of a crew on a racing boat, I take orders, and get
wet and very cold and it's all over in two hours, then we have a pint after dusting ourselves down. If anything goes wrong we blame the equipment or the course. Luckily, I've even got to do some short
cruises at the invitation of friends, in warm waters. There is
something about being cut off from land that removes life's complications and
scrunches them up for a few hours, I think that's why yacht racing is so popular.
I've always thought flying for a living
would be a totally glamorous job, despite the fact that the crew have a slew of
people in various stages of inebriation and panic attacks to deal with. But you
know, on those long hauls, they get to cocktail and shop in New York, Boston,
Chicago maybe even Singapore, Shanghai, Sligo-Knock. Or just to pop over to
Paris for a night at the opera, London for dinner and back.
I never knew an actual stewardess
personally, my ex-husband's ex-wife was one, but I never really knew her and
he'd used up all his wanderlust by the time I'd met him, story of my life.
Became a stay at home slippers type of man by the time we'd had our boys. Now,
I have a real live senior cabin crew girlfriend, it sounds like the next best
thing to being in school, with actual exotic destinations and getting paid to
boot. I love the idea of Galley FM where all the gossip we don't get down on
terrestrial gets scooped in the cloud. That's the real cloud not the i-Cloud.
Racquel doesn't think I write enough bad
stuff about myself in this, so here is a confession, I've just cycled to her
house to collect duty free cigarettes, have a chat, drink and cycle back uphill
in a bit of a wobble. I'm not sure if any of that's illegal, but it felt bad. I
think it's ok once it's still bright outside.
Having had years of working for myself,
either in track suit at home or Armani suits in a board room, I quite fancy a
uniform again, with a badge, I could be designated work hours, somebody else
would even check all that for me, meaning the rest of the time was actually
free, like not to having to worry about work, whether I'd got my report written
and will the client pay, ever.
While it might be too late for me, I think
I'll be recommending it to one of my cost centres, there's great fun and
serious leadership skills required up there, not to mention diplomacy,
patience, humour and all important, manners. Way more serious than you realise
as you hide behind your Cara magazine and order that third quarter bottle of
merlot. It's more like IMF meets Croke Park and we know what a mess they've
made of that on Terrestrial. They could do with some cabin crew skills down
here. And by the way, gentlemen, don't tap the stewardess's bottom with your
finger when you want more coffee.
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