Upper East Side Dublin Co-op Board

The first person to view our second offering is a male student; even though I was warned against taking students, he was so convincing on the phone I invited him to take a look. Then it occurred to me that it’s a perfect student combination, I already have two, so that would be three of them doing their finals this year, they’d be in the library til midnight most of the time. He loved it, and being a commerce student he did a deal to pay up front for four months and get a discount, saying that he wouldn’t have to worry about his rent after that. I said that sounded like a great idea, except I would have it all gone in the first week.  I liked him, he was a musician as well, not the DJ-mixing kind, but a traditional accordion player and had an agent, like I said, he’s not studying accountancy for nothing! In the end, his parents decided it was over budget. On to the next, a woman who didn’t like dogs, I suppose I should include the dog in our ad, and a very sweet trainee teacher, and through my own fault, took too long to get back to her and she found something else. This is all telling me that there must be a right person moment coming up.

A Chinese lady called enthusing about the location and how it would be perfect for two Chinese girls. They’ve never left China before, they’re eighteen and don’t speak English. I protest there is only bed in the room, ‘that’s not a problem, very common to sleep together in China,’ I’m sure it maybe, but the co-op board are not buying this. ‘Too much looking after,’ they diplomatically counsel me.  I’m inclined to think anyone under twenty-one will bring out too much maternal instinct.

A very eager Frenchman in his fifties wants to take the room for 6 months and bring his golden retriever. He is very compelling about his dog, aged Thirteen and unable to climb stairs. I’m still thinking about it, though our own Tess might have something to bark about and then I’d be a dog-sitter during the day.  Hmmm.

I suppose I imagined an Argentinian who could teach the tango or someone from Venice or Rome with whom I could brush up my Italian and eventually do a house swap. Equally, someone from St Tropez or Paris. You see that dog could ingratiate herself to me yet.